Releasing blame and resentment

No doubt you've heard that the Chinese symbols for crisis and opportunity are the same. Every crisis presents an opportunity for transformation. What is transformed? Everything is energy. Energy of a low frequency becomes dysfunctional, leading to ruffled feathers, taking things personally, feelings of being attacked and so on. Those feelings are legitimate at the time the energy is released.

A "shake-up" of energy between people can have a positive result. But that is only possible when we commit to transforming the energy of blame into the energy of forgiveness and love, not by repressing the hurt feelings, but rather by allowing them to be felt and to move through us. Energy wants to move. When it gets stuck in feelings of resentment or blame it festers and causes dissension.

However, the opportunity always exists to transmute that "shadow energy." I have discovered a way that works for me: to be responsible for converting the energy within myself. How do I do that? I use a simple prayer, "I am sorry for the problem, please forgive me, thank you, I love you," derived from the Hawaiian updated Ho'oponopono process. The Ho'oponopono prayer allows the stuck energy to move, releasing resentments.

Ho'oponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness practiced within families. The updated version is a solitary practice. Ponopono is defined as "to put to rights; to put in order or correct." It is a mental cleansing process which recognizes that if I see a problem, I am responsible for changing its energetic imprint within myself.

The way to do this is a simple process of self-forgiveness, using the prayer "I am sorry for the problem, please forgive me, thank you, I love you." This prayer has worked wonders in my life. The prayer releases me from projecting my feelings externally onto others, blaming them for how I am feeling. I own my feelings, transmuting them through this process of self-forgiveness.

This was challenging when I first began this process because I wanted to feel justified in my positions. But if I habitually practiced "injustice collecting," resolutions of problems could not take place. We all do it because that's what our culture has taught us growing up. It leads ultimately to wars. In its more personal context it leads to dissension and the break up of relationships.

What we are all called to do is to take the high road. Go within, own our feelings, then take responsibility for converting the shadow energy of resentment and blame to a higher frequency of love and caring for one another through self-forgiveness, using the prayer "I am sorry for the problem, please forgive me, thank you, I love you." This is the most direct method I have found of accomplishing that result.

Are you willing to let go of being "right"? When I was willing to let go of being right, then I could turn my attention toward raising the frequency of my thoughts. But if I was determined to make my partner or others wrong, I was simply not ready to practice Ho'oponopono which is all about being responsible for transforming the energy of blame within myself.

Shadow energy (negative feelings) can be a doorway to moving into a greater connectedness and a higher purpose. But that is only possible when each of us commits to allowing this to happen. Ho'oponopono has been an effective way for me to do this. Perhaps this prayer speaks to you. What have you got to lose by trying it?

Julian Spalding is former publisher of Albuquerque Arts magazine. He moved to Talent in 2009 where he writes poetry. His blog is at He is a 12-year practitioner of Hawaiian updated Ho'oponopono.

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