Should or share

The choice each moment is to either share or should on one's perception or experience. Should is a result of the ego, conditioned thinking which is preoccupied with time. This moment or experience is seen as better or worse than the past or future. On the other hand, sharing is being on the razor's edge opening or allowing (accepting) this always-present sacredness or stillness in each and every moment.

Examples are at hand in every observation, taste, touch, word or activity. So, what is the secret to allowing this non-thinking, non-judging sharing rather than the egoic, insane mind should mode? There are ten thousands of metaphysical buzz words that purport to point or guide one to this innate sharingness.

Essentially, or fundamentally, I call it alert, very attentive watchfulness. For sure, the relentless ever-present false identity (should or ego) leaps up hundreds of times daily and makes every attempt to derail or lure you into reaction, judgment or criticizing. These mis-identities keep you from your natural, always sufficient egoless sharing.

Let us look at specific guide posts when one is faced with the ever-present choice of share or should. Sitting in the waiting room at the airport for our fall flight to visit our daughter and grand daughter; I felt what William James called compassionate presence. Standing next to the window a young man was eye to eye and smiling and talking affectionately to his 18-month-old daughter. Sitting directly across from me a middle-aged woman was showing her new three-week-old grandson to another couple on her cell phone. I could not help commenting on the incredible beauty of both these young children. Both reacted immediately, smiled warmly and thanked me. There was an obvious unmistakable warm, loving glow or presence animating from them.

So, the only thing required here was for me to simply be open and aware of these obvious genuine and spontaneous expressions of love.

Our vacation was only two days old, and yes the ego or 'should' mode raised its ugly head. When my loved one shared their alarmingly lowest weight ever; daddy's should poured forth; "You need to be over such and such a weight! Remember the simple rule; eat more and exercise less if you plan on gaining weight."

An unenthusiastic "Yeah" was loud and clear. For sure, I had slipped into should mode; rather than allowing my loved one to share openly. As always, hindsight is twenty-twenty. And then judgment "popped in," no appetite, compulsive need to exercise one hour every day and to do sprints immediately after eating any food is not a balanced, reasonable life style."

Choosing to be in a share or should mode is a choice each and every moment in or out of relationship. Eckhart Tolle calls this "perceiving without thought or the voice in your head." The simple truth is to develop a habit of being very alert as you observe, taste, touch, or listen. As I write this, I am listening, closely observing and smelling the ocean. I notice that there is no thinking; just an aware seeing the very soothing rhythmic steady hum of the ebb and flow of the surf. I glanced at the phone sitting beside me, and in popped ego or the voice in my head. I called my loved one on both phones and there was no return call.. A judgment slips in, "We spent all this money to be with our family and they do not even care enough to return our calls."

With only a few days left on our extended vacation; we are faced with a huge should or share choice. A loved one has made good on their last year's statement of not wanting to see or talk to either of us ever again. We have apologized several times; and desperately want to share rather than fall victim to the all-too-tempting should. Our granddaughter's ever-present spontaneity, joyfulness and enthusiasm is a true sharing that is a profound pointer to who we are and can be.

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