Yes Virginia, there is still a Santa Claus and he just cancelled Christmas.
On Sept. 21, 1897, almost 120 years ago, an 8-year-old girl named Virginia from New York City wrote a letter to the editor of The Sun newspaper. She wanted to know if Santa Claus was real and her dad told her to ask the editor, because if she saw it The Sun, then she would know it was true. The editor’s reply has become the most reprinted editorial ever. The reply stated that “Yes, of course Santa was real … as surely as there is love in the world.” It went on to say that “Just because something is invisible, does not mean that it is not real.”
Fast forward to January 2016. Upon returning to the North Pole after his Christmas Eve delivery, Santa felt a strong sense that the overall "Christmas Spirit" was low. So, for first time in 50 years, he decided to take a two-week vacation and got together with his trusted advisors for a "State of Christmas" summit.
Santa learned all about the current state of the world and how Christmas has been way over-commercialized. Santa was very upset and now he understood why the Christmas spirit seemed so low. The summit ended with a sad result but, in the end, it was the only sane thing to do. The Elves prepared this press release and Santa signed it:
PRESS RELEASE: From The Media Center at Santa’s Workshop, January 2016
Big Announcement from Santa Claus — Christmas is Cancelled
NORTH POLE- Two weeks after returning from his annual gift delivery trek, Santa Claus has an announcement and you are not going to like it. “Christmas is cancelled!
“I am appalled at what you all have done with Christmas and how you use my image to promote an insane frenzy of shopping!” Santa said in his loudest outburst ever. “The holiday is intended for you to share your presence with each other, not to feel obligated to buy things for one another!
“And how many times do I have to say it, I said ‘Merry Christmas to all,’ but you seem to have forgotten the ‘All’ part and you have pretty much forgotten the ‘Merry’ part too! Your quest for instant gratification has you focused on little screens all the time, instead of taking care of each other. You used to consider the effect of your actions on the next seven generations, but now you seem most concerned with the next seven minutes.”
Santa went on to say, “I am no longer going to keep a list, I don’t care if you are naughty or nice if you are only doing it in hopes of getting more gifts. You have taken this joyous holiday and made it into a nerve-racking, two-month long shopping circus. So, effective immediately, I am cancelling Christmas!
“I know that I’m guilty too,” Santa shared sadly. “I will admit that I have not been paying much attention for the last 50 years or so … But, my God, what have you done? I came home to the North Pole on Christmas Day, in the darkest days of winter, and it is 40 degrees warmer than it usually is! This is serious — the ice is melting, the polar bears are dying, the weather is getting really weird everywhere and, in what seemed like a blink of an eye, you have doubled the population on Earth to seven billion people. Really?!
“And, you people, you want way too much stuff and you are using way too many resources to live your way too extravagant lives. It is like you don’t even realize that you are destroying the delicate web of life! YES, the same web of life that you, your children and all the other species depend on to survive!
“And, to top it all off, you have included me, and Christmas itself, as part of your ‘more, bigger, faster’ problem and I absolutely will not stand for it. You will not use my image and this holiday to help thrash the planet.
"We must stop lying to ourselves and each other. I know that is a bit paradoxical coming from me, but this ability to believe things that are not true, it may not be serving us anymore. We cannot pretend our way out of this problem.
“I can hear you complaining already,” said Santa. “But what about the children? Well, can’t you see, WE ARE DOING THIS FOR THE CHILDREN! We must be real with them, in hopes that they don’t make the same mistakes we’ve made. We need to create a better way of caring for each other and the planet. This cancellation of the crazy way you do Christmas may end up being the greatest gift we have ever given them.”
No No No, Merry No Christmas, Love Always,
Peter Melton lived in Ashland and returns regularly to visit family members and good friends. He writes on many topics including and hopes someday to relocate to Ashland. Contact him at Peter.Melton3@gmail.com.